{"id":32289,"date":"2024-09-06T17:10:48","date_gmt":"2024-09-06T17:10:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/?p=32289"},"modified":"2024-09-18T23:15:47","modified_gmt":"2024-09-18T23:15:47","slug":"self-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/self-acceptance\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\"StudentI was a student for a looooong time. Almost non-stop between the ages of 4 and 29. By the time I was done, I was also a mom. So, for the vast majority of my life, my schedule has ebbed and flowed with the school year. I loved school, and I LOVE fall. It is my favorite in all the basic, cheesy ways \u2013 the sweaters, the decorations (I even crocheted pumpkins last year, of all things), the cozy cups of tea, and yes, even the dreaded pumpkin spice. Typically, by this point in September, I am more than ready for a chill in the air and changing leaves. I am aching for crisp mornings (we\u2019ve still got over a month of hot ahead). I crave new pencils. I get a surge of productive energy.<\/p>

This year, though, the lust for fall seems to have abandoned me, or at least be running late.<\/strong> I would gladly go back into summer vacation mode. It feels strange. Maybe it\u2019s because my kids are older, so having them home full time didn\u2019t require much of me. Instead, it gave us more chances to have fun as a family. Maybe it is because one of my kids is dealing with some bigger mental health struggles than I had realized, and school is likely to be a big stressor. It hurts my heart to watch them in pain. Maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m acutely aware of how close we are to launching these boys and how every school year brings us closer to our first big goodbye. I don\u2019t know, and to a certain extent, I don\u2019t need to know. I feel calm about it. I\u2019m not distressed that school is starting, just unusually neutral. It\u2019s curious that having known myself so well for so long, I can still surprise myself.<\/strong><\/p>

\"AutumnUpon Reflection: After sitting on this post for a week or so, I have another theory, and it\u2019s an intriguing one. As fall gets closer and the light has started to shift, I\u2019m finally eager for my favorite season to kick into high gear. I\u2019m not wishing it would hurry up and get here, but I\u2019m definitely excited.<\/p>

What has remained shifted is my sense of coming change. I\u2019m getting more energy as the heat subsides. I\u2019m currently cozied up with a cup of tea as the rain falls and I can feel my creative energy surging. It\u2019s<\/strong> the expectation that something will be categorically different after the change of season that is totally gone.<\/strong> I was more organized than ever as the school year started, but that doesn\u2019t mean my children are going to magically cease being procrastinators and turn everything in on time. I am exercising more and eating more protein, but I\u2019m not expecting a drastically different body to emerge. I\u2019m planning my next work projects, but I\u2019m not thinking these will be anything more than a chance to reach a few more people with helpful information. I used to think, as fall came, that if I just strove a little more, worked a little harder, slept a little less, I would transform myself into the person and mom that I fell short of being.<\/p>

\"\"<\/p>

I have finally accepted that this version of me isn\u2019t coming. And, if she did, I wouldn\u2019t invite her to stay because she\u2019s not me. If I asked my younger self how this shift would feel, I would have said it felt like defeat. I might have been despondent and felt like I had failed to measure up. Current me is totally fine with it! I\u2019m a bit relieved. I\u2019m definitely easier to be around. I\u2019m at peace with my warts and aware of my gifts.<\/strong> I think that I, and honestly my family, are better off for it.<\/p>

So, let\u2019s raise our warm beverages to fall and loving ourselves just as we are!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was a student for a looooong time. Almost non-stop between the ages of 4 and 29. By the time I was done, I was also a mom. So, for the vast majority of my life, my schedule has ebbed and flowed with the school year. I loved school, and I LOVE fall. It is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":32340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32289"}],"version-history":[{"count":51,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32396,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32289\/revisions\/32396"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.whiteford.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}